You may have heard the famous saying: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This isn’t just a motivational poster or a quirky catchphrase – it’s practically a scientific formula for success (or disaster, if we’re honest).
Picture this: You’re a sponge. Yep, a regular old household sponge. And the people around you? They’re the dishwater. Gross but accurate! Every person you hang out with leaves a little something behind, and pretty soon, it starts to shape who you are – the way you think, the way you act, even the way you dream.
So let’s dive into why your environment might just be the secret sauce to achieving your goals. Because if your goals are a five-star meal, you’ll want the right ingredients in your life’s kitchen, not stale leftovers from a takeout box!
The Power of Your Inner Circle: Shaping Your Goals (or Derailing Them)
Here’s a little mental exercise: Imagine you’ve got a few major goals. Let’s say you want to build a thriving business, get in shape, and maybe finally learn how to say “no” without feeling like a monster. Now, look around. Are the people closest to you actively working on similar goals? Are they pushing you to be better? Or are they calling you at 10 PM to binge-watch a series that already has seven seasons?
If the answer is the latter, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Our “inner circles” often end up being the people we default to, not necessarily the people we’d choose if we were intentional. But here’s the catch: When you hang out with high achievers, even if they’re just aiming for small, consistent goals, it rubs off on you. You can’t help it! It’s like hanging around a person with a cold. You’ll “catch” some of their energy, ambition, and focus.
Analogy Alert 🚨: The Grocery Store Cart
Think of it like pushing a cart in the grocery store with friends. If you’re shopping with someone who’s tossing in veggies, whole grains, and lean protein, you’re probably going to walk out with a healthier haul. But if your friend’s cart looks like a “snack attack survival kit” with chips, cookies, and soda…well, you get the idea. You pick up what they’re “dropping,” so to speak.
Setting Goals? Here’s the Checklist for Your “Dream Team”
When you set goals, you need cheerleaders, yes – but not the ones holding pom-poms just for show. Here’s what to look for in your “goal squad,” the folks who will help you become the best version of yourself. Because while nice is great, helpful is better.
1. The Ambitious One
This friend, colleague, or mentor has a knack for dreaming big and actually doing something about it. They’re always onto the next project or learning something new. And yes, they sometimes make you feel lazy by comparison, but that’s okay! The Ambitious One will give you just enough “oomph” to raise your game.
2. The Pragmatist
Ambition is fantastic, but we need that friend who’s going to say, “Is this really doable?” They’re realistic without being a downer. If you want to create a 20-part course or hike Mt. Everest tomorrow, they’ll be the one to ask, “Maybe start with a walk around the block?” They keep your ideas grounded in reality so you’re not wasting time chasing impossible dreams.
3. The Funny Friend
No journey to success should be all work and no play. The Funny Friend knows how to add a little humor when you need it most. Goals are important, but so is laughing at yourself (and sometimes at them, if they don’t mind!). If you’re taking yourself way too seriously, they’ll give you a nudge back to the lighter side of life.
When Goals and Friends Don’t Mix: Time to “Adjust the Recipe”
Alright, so maybe your circle is more of a “comfort food” recipe than a “green smoothie,” and that’s fine. But it’s worth considering whether your environment is actually keeping you from achieving what you really want. If you’re serious about making a change, here are a few things to think about:
Step 1: Set Boundaries
It doesn’t mean you have to ditch friends who aren’t goal-oriented. But maybe you don’t spend five hours a week discussing the latest Netflix drama with them when you’re trying to write a book or launch a business. Set aside time for them, but don’t let them consume all your energy.
Step 2: Find the Right Circles
Seek out new networks, whether that’s through networking events, online communities, or workshops. Find the circles that not only inspire you but make you better. Think of it as finding the right “seasoning” for your life. A dash of high achievers, a sprinkle of laughter, and maybe a pinch of someone who’s already where you want to be.
Analogy Alert 🚨: The Garden Plot
Imagine your life as a garden. Some plants are beautiful but aren’t always good to keep around if they steal nutrients from the ones that feed you. When you find those “nutrient-dense” relationships, you’ll see real growth. Suddenly, your goals don’t feel so impossible because you have people around you who know how to nurture them.
How to Start Building Your Dream Circle (without Awkward Exits)
Building the right circle doesn’t have to mean dramatically unfriending anyone. It’s more about slowly aligning yourself with those who help you grow. Here’s a practical approach:
Attend Events and Meetups
Find industry events, self-improvement seminars, or even hobby classes. Every connection you make is a potential new “ingredient” for your life mix.Invest in Coaching or Mentorship
If you’re serious about fast-tracking your progress, a mentor or coach can help guide you with experience, structure, and encouragement.Add, Don’t Subtract
Instead of “cutting out” people, try “adding” people who align with your goals. Over time, your focus will naturally shift toward those who inspire you, and you’ll spend less time on relationships that don’t add value.
Choosing the right people to surround yourself with isn’t just a nice idea – it’s essential for growth. We become what we consume, and that goes for food, media, and yes, people! If you’re after success, make sure your circle feeds your ambition and brings out the best in you.
P.S.:
Remember, it’s never too late to change your circle. Just one new connection can change everything. Keep reaching for what you deserve, and align yourself with those who help you grow toward it!
